“Beautifully observed” has been a recurring phrase associated with new drama LOVE IS STRANGE and I find it hard to disagree. A poignantly illustrated exploration of the enduring love between two mature men, Love Is Strange stands as a quietly imposing giant among modern romantic drama in my opinion. The film follows Ben and George (played to perfection by John Lithgow and Alfred Molina), who after being a couple for over forty years, finally marry. Not long after this milestone occasion, they lose their home after George is fired from his music teacher role at a Catholic school after news of his marriage reaches the archdiocese. Forced to live separately with friends and family, the couple try to find ways to juggle their new circumstance and maintain their relationship as their family and friends try to adjust to having an additional person in their home and lives.

Ten days on and I’m still thinking about Love Is Strange. What was striking to me about this seemingly unimposing film is its grace. The film simply pulsates with it. From its performances to its story, the film handles it all with pure grace. Love Is Strange takes an approach to it’s big themes that is really quite remarkable. Hyperbole no way intended but this film is kinda revolutionary in it’s own way. Amongst it’s themes it looks at sexuality, age, generation, tradition vs modernity, family life, the economy; all of this is treated in such a coincidental manner, in such an intimately subtle tone that the story becomes completely relatable. It would do the film a disservice to market it as a gay drama, or a film for older audiences or even American. This is a film about life. It addresses challenges that could happen and is happening to people now. And that accessibility is what makes the film truly remarkable.

What is also remarkable are the central performances by John Lithgow and Alfred Molina. Purportedly good friends in real-life this is evident in the fantastic chemistry they have together, fully believable as a long term couple. Their relationship is truly beautiful, providing the emotional heartbreaking backbone of the film. Their separation through circumstance and unfortunate discrimination hurts the audience as much as it hearts them. However, as much as this film is a look at how ordinary people deal with injustice or adversity, I wouldn’t say Love Is Strange is particularly political in opinion or even ‘big idea-ed’. It strives to never overtly point the finger at individuals but instead seeks to explore how institutionalised discrimination affects everyone.

While the film’s central couple story is the heart of the film, Love Is Strange is also quite an ensemble piece and special mention should be given to Marisa Tomei and Charles Tahan as Kate and Joey, the wife and son of Ben’s nephew. Outside of Ben and George’s situation, the bulk of the film explores how Kate and Joey cope, or indeed not cope, with the arrival of Uncle Ben in their home. Their scenes run some of the film’s biggest emotional gauntlet as they realise that you can love someone but that doesn’t mean you’re going to love living with them. The love, pity, frustration, restraint, anger and guilt is all palpable here. Combined with excellent performance it also made for some uncomfortable viewing, moreso because again, it’s all so completely relatable. A particularly poignant moment between Joey and Ben and later Joey and George articulates with very few words the general thrust of the story, that love, all types of love, in all its complexity, is indeed strange.

Directed by Ira Sachs  in an almost episodic style this is a subtle stylistic similarity to his earlier glossy melodrama Married Life (2007) adapted from an episode of The Hitchcock Hour and coincidentally, a film I also quite enjoyed, although not as much as Love Is Strange. I have yet to see Keep The Lights On but I’m guessing that Sachs plays on his strengths and these evidently lie in looking at human relationships and interactions. Love Is Strange does share a certain polished look like Married Life, if a bit more authentic and slightly grittier (in the sense that Married Life is deliberately lush and period specific a la Mad Men or Far From Heaven), but it’s definitely the same work of cinematographer Peter Deming who also photographed Married Life. Albeit a couple of specific shots of New York sights and streets, filmed with a beautiful lusciousness that makes it seem like a dreamlike version of the city that’s always in perfect light, Love Is Strange is very ‘indoorsy’ and confined, which adds to the intimate nature of the story but also heightens the tensions of those who occupy its space.

Sometimes scenes were so beautifully set up, so seemingly perfect it became a little too perfect and thus threatened to take away from the authenticity of its story. These very real people seem to live in a slightly unreal world. I suppose that may be the consequence of its setting of New York. Sometimes the Big Apple can be an imposing character, pushing its personality in the face of the audience and taking focus away from its inhabitants. I sometimes would have preferred that the story stay inside and be more about the people rather than the space they occupy.

My only other grumble about the film is that sometimes the gracefulness I initially praised, undoes the film a little. There were moments where the deliberate artistic choice of ‘quietness’ could have done with a bit more brutal honesty in the point the film tries to make. This I think is down to its direction, Sachs choosing to refer to incidents rather than show, which in my opinion does the film a little bit of a disservice. I won’t spoil the film but while I applaud the avoidance of potential histrionics within the third act which bypasses the typical indie drama narrative arc, it would have been nice if Sachs had addressed more ardently some of the film’s themes rather than being so noble in his approach and choosing instead to infer. Combined with some ‘choice’ editing decisions that seemed to make the narrative jump oddly, there were a few moments where I was a little exasperated at the film journey and wanted to yell that it stop being so damn reasonable all the time.

Despite some minor gripes, Love Is Strange is too likeable a film to hold such small grievances against it. The performances alone save it from its own niceness. As does it richness in texture. What appears to be a simple story about adversity is actually an exploration of humanity and what we mean to each other. Love Is Strange to me is like a deep existential conversation had over drinks with a friend. A very reasonable graceful friend. Such a friend might sometimes piss you off with that gracefulness but at the same time blows your mind with such articulate thinking that will have you in contemplation for a long time after.

Love Is Strange is still in cinemas on limited release and I IMPLORE YOU TO GO SEE IT.